RDARD emerges from its eternal slumber to dissect a surprisingly shitty episode, full of cursed horny energy.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)

Never fear, RDARD listeners. The lukewarm sluggishness of the previous episode is gone in a whirl of road dust as Season Three's second episode does a sick burnout and just throws EVERYTHING at EVERYONE.

Thrill! As we discover how Archie is similar to a doughnut.

Be Mesmerized! As two increasingly absurd plot lines threaten to collide catastrophically with one another.

And... Listen! To our cool podcast, thank you so much.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)

After what feels like an eternal incarceration in the Ostowverse, we're back to the TV show!

Quinn and Rob are joined by Arlie to unfold what promises (at least early on) to be the wildest and most baffling season of Riverdale yet.

Thrill as we witness the absolute burial of Riverdale: Get Out of Town's canonicity and join us in our struggle to pull any meaning from this shockingly disposable season opener.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)

This is The End.

The chapters hit in a machine-gun-like staccato as we more or less begin giving every individual action beat it's own goddamn chapter.

And once the dust settles, we're left to cope in the wreckage of a plot that just... didn't make sense on so many levels, in hindsight. But we give it our best shot at reconstruction. We bore witness to the catastrophe, and it's our responsibility to catalogue the damage.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)
M.I.T. Choir - O Fortuna   

There is no bottom. The maelstrom pulls Rob and Quinn shrieking into the fathomless deep as the book somehow gets goddamn even worse.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)   

It gets worse.

Somehow, this set of chapters is even worse than the previous set of chapters. I hate it so much.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)  

Well, shit.

If called upon, neither Quinn nor Rob could have very precisely articulated what they expected, plot development-wise, when the main 4 finally made it to Shadow Lake. However, it's fair to say that the depth (and commitment level) of utter bullshit that unveils itself through this section was not on ANYONE'S bingo card.

If the film INCEPTION was about an author trying to avoid actually telling a story, it would play out a lot like this.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental) 

Prose and Cons is back! And holy hell did we draw some choice material this time.

The first two pages of this section contain just about as much wacky nonsense as the preceding 8 chapters put together, and Quinn and Rob put on their very best Forensic Linguist and Forensic Literary Scholar hats to try to make sense of the carnage.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)

The Satanic Panic of the 1980's casts a long shadow, somehow, across Riverdale in the Year of Our Lord 2018 or 2019, and hoo boy does it make no sense.

Additionally, there appears to be a legitimate cosmic horror being hinted at by multiple characters, now?

It's a lot of sauce for a meal with no main dish.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)
Kevin MacLeod - Divertissement    

Time travel, Gargoyle Kings, and Toilet Gun Truthers. This book goes to a level of crazy neither Quinn nor Rob were remotely prepared for.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)