Season 3 catches a nasty case of the "oh fuck we only have a couple episodes left," and the hosts of RDARD are left heads a-spinning.

Then something truly horrifying happens when we catch a glimpse into the soul-destroying, eldritch truth at the heart of Riverdale's blighted and accursed creative process.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)

Listen to us suffer.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)

I'm a bit worried about this one. I basically don't remember anything we talked about, other than how I feel like Euphoria (a show that isn't Riverdale) makes me feel yucky.

I think we strayed from the topic a lot because of how awful this episode was, but I am seriously not sure.

Music: Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)

At long last, RDARD returns to a shitty, exhausting slog of an episode! Our Riverdale tolerance break has left us a quivering pile of exposed nerves, with naught but a hideous ravaging by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa to look forward to.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)

It turns out to be definitive: An episode that sucks out loud is easier to suffer through than an episode that sucks silently.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)

This is an extremely bad episode where they can't even come up with enough terrible, unmotivated false conflict and have to recycle a shit plotline from within the same episode.

Riverdale is a bad show. But Arlie says something really funny, so we're good.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)

I'd love to say "Riverdale's back, baybee!", but honestly this episode just eats a party shit sub, one bite at a time, without breaking eye contact with the viewer or taking a single drink of water, or even gagging a little.

It's crazier than the last episode, and thus slightly more entertaining, often by accident, but Riverdale's just sunk in the snot bog, quality-wise, at this point in Season Three.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)

An episode that is both boring and relentless, somehow at the same time.

Thrill, as a bunch of dumb shit that doesn't matter happens!

I'm sorry folks, we're doing our best.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)

Riverdale is like Bizarro-Town, or so we're told. And this episode of RDARD is very much the strange mirror-twin of the previous one-- listen to find out how!

Also, listen to find out what the fuck the title means.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)

The episode wasn't so bad... OR SO IT SEEMED.

Come for the wild insanity of the plot, stay for Quinn achieving a very high power level.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)