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So, probably the weirdest thing about this episode is how the writers, with a shocking degree of consistency, set up a scene, escalate it,

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)

You'd think that a 90's homage mixed with a bizarre take on the Satanic Panic of the 80's mixed with what seems like a preoccupation with the good Nightmare on Elm Street movie would be weirder than the episode after it, which takes us back to the main timeline.

You'd be dead mcfucking wrong.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)

What happens when the 80's, the 90's, and Riverdale all have a bunch of nasty, unprotected sex? This episode is what.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)

RDARD emerges from its eternal slumber to dissect a surprisingly shitty episode, full of cursed horny energy.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)

Never fear, RDARD listeners. The lukewarm sluggishness of the previous episode is gone in a whirl of road dust as Season Three's second episode does a sick burnout and just throws EVERYTHING at EVERYONE.

Thrill! As we discover how Archie is similar to a doughnut.

Be Mesmerized! As two increasingly absurd plot lines threaten to collide catastrophically with one another.

And... Listen! To our cool podcast, thank you so much.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)

After what feels like an eternal incarceration in the Ostowverse, we're back to the TV show!

Quinn and Rob are joined by Arlie to unfold what promises (at least early on) to be the wildest and most baffling season of Riverdale yet.

Thrill as we witness the absolute burial of Riverdale: Get Out of Town's canonicity and join us in our struggle to pull any meaning from this shockingly disposable season opener.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)

This is The End.

The chapters hit in a machine-gun-like staccato as we more or less begin giving every individual action beat it's own goddamn chapter.

And once the dust settles, we're left to cope in the wreckage of a plot that just... didn't make sense on so many levels, in hindsight. But we give it our best shot at reconstruction. We bore witness to the catastrophe, and it's our responsibility to catalogue the damage.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)
M.I.T. Choir - O Fortuna   

There is no bottom. The maelstrom pulls Rob and Quinn shrieking into the fathomless deep as the book somehow gets goddamn even worse.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)   

It gets worse.

Somehow, this set of chapters is even worse than the previous set of chapters. I hate it so much.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental)  

Well, shit.

If called upon, neither Quinn nor Rob could have very precisely articulated what they expected, plot development-wise, when the main 4 finally made it to Shadow Lake. However, it's fair to say that the depth (and commitment level) of utter bullshit that unveils itself through this section was not on ANYONE'S bingo card.

If the film INCEPTION was about an author trying to avoid actually telling a story, it would play out a lot like this.

Music:
Josh Woodward - Faded War (Instrumental) 

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